Reasons Why I'm a Feminist This Week

Last week, I had the pleasure of getting to hear a personal hero of mine, Jessica Valenti, speak. She gave an inspiring and powerful talk that reaffirmed all the reasons that I call myself a feminist and am proud to do so. In my teaching work, I meet a lot of young, intelligent women who are hesitant about the label, usually because they imagine it means they have to stop shaving their legs and start attending man-hating rallies. Or just get a lot more pissed off about stuff. As Valenti noted, a quick Google image search confirms these stereotypes - the first subcategory that comes up is "angry."

Valenti began her talk addressing this issue of young women not wanting to call themselves or be called feminists. And then she explained why she was a feminist THIS week, as in, the recent events that fuel her to do the work she's doing (which is blogging about women's & gender issues for The Nation and generally being an awesome activist role model).

So I'm going to steal a page from Valenti's playbook and tell you why I'm a feminist this week.

1. The reports coming out of Emerson College (where I went to grad school) re: their failure to take sexual assault reports seriously. This is the case on far too many college campuses -- administrators prefer to handle the matter without actual police involvement, and as result, rapists get wrist-slaps and the female students brave enough to come forward and report their assault end up feeling traumatized all over again.

2. On a related note, this well-intentioned but highly problematic Slate article by "Dear Prudence" columnist Emily Yoffe, which implies that if college women get less drunk, they would get assaulted less frequently. So if you're drunk, you're kind of asking for it, maybe? A firestorm of debate has erupted over this piece (and some great satire, like this piece that reverses the genders and advises men to drink less so as to not end up raping women), and while obviously underage binge-drinking is a problem in its own right, suggesting causality (as opposed to correlation) is dangerous and dumb. If you need a refresher on causality vs. correlation, this graph does a good job: 

3. Speaking of rape culture, this video by an Indian sketch comedy group is the best thing I've watched on the internet in a while. It's funny and also incredibly disturbing.


4.  The fact that Plan B costs $50. I don't know why that's bugging me this week, but it is -- it's legal without a prescription, which is good, but it's not exactly in an accessible price range.

5. Finally, I came across this over the weekend when I was perusing a website listing 100 easy Halloween costume ideas.

                          53. Gift box or Christmas gift (suggested for a young girl)

Emphasis mine. I'm really dying to know why this is a great costume for little girls -- to further remind them that they are a prize waiting to be unwrapped? Sounds a lot like the subject of Valenti's 2009 book, The Purity Myth, which was also made into a documentary. Watch the trailer here:



Young women shouldn't grow up thinking that their self-worth and their sexual identities are intertwined. Your decision to have sex or not have sex does not impact your value as a human being. The whole mythos surrounding the hymen is out of control - as this excellent "How Stuff Works" podcast explains, it isn't, as most people think, a membrane that can be punctured, but rather a ring of tissue that gets stretched from a variety of activities (and never, even when "'intact," completely covers the vaginal opening). SCIENCE!  

So that's what's making me a feminist this week.

Happy Valentine's Day

Single or not, gay or straight, young or old, I think we can all agree that this is a quality love song:



If you have a special someone, I hope that he/she is more attractive than Lisa/Johnny and that you have lots of rose-petal-covered sex tonight. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to rent or buy Tommy Wiseau's 2003 classic film The Room as soon as possible. If you purchase it from the official movie website, he'll sign it for you! Trust me that this movie is the gift that keeps on giving.

Saying Goodbye

This song has been playing on a loop in my head for the last several days:

    

The part that really makes me bawl: when Gonzo says "Sometimes it's better to go" and Camilla the chicken makes a sad chicken sound. 

I have reached the tough part of moving -- saying goodbye to some really good friends. And unlike my last move, wherein I knew I would be visiting easily and frequently since my new home was only a 4-hour drive from my old home, this time it may be a while before I see some of these folks again. And they're good folks, trust me.

To Graham, Nicholas, Josh, Suzanne, Joelle, Peter, Charlene, Mo, Joe, Alexis, Pincus, Liz, Mike, Akshay, Amy, Matt, Elizabeth, Ben, Grace, Kira, Darien, Michael, Thuy, Mariel, Moses, Kevin, Dr. Frank, Tim, Holly, Rich, Kirsten, Alex, T.A., Bruno, Brink, Chef, Shannon, Megan, Ryan, Gabi, Dave, Emily, Sarah, Tina and others I love but might be forgetting (it is almost 3 a.m.): please stay in touch. I miss you already. Thanks for making my four years in Boston amazing.

Before The Hunger Games....

...there was Battle Royale. Now, I haven't read or seen The Hunger Games, but Battle Royale was all over the concept of teenagers killing each other for sport/survival more than a decade ago. (I guess I'm joining the trend addressed by The Huffington Post by writing about this). Also based on a book, the Japanese film was released in 2000, but never got a U.S. distribution deal due to the controversial subject matter. In 2012, we're apparently cool with it.

I'm not sure I'll see THG. I like Jennifer Lawrence and am intrigued by all the hype/fuss, but....I feel like it's a rip-off of a much cooler, more provocative film. Battle Royale is violent, yes -- but it's also campy and even...funny. It disturbs, but it also undeniably entertains. At any rate, here's a little taste:

The One That Got Away?

Holy shit, I hope this is like riding a bike. Or, actually, easier, since I was never that good at bike-riding.

It's been months since I've blogged and the more time that passed, the more anxious I've been about starting up again. But here I am. LET'S DO THIS.

You might think, based on my last post, that it would be logical for me to blog about my life-changing trip to China in July. But truthfully, there's just no way to really do it justice, so if you want to hear about it or see pictures, shoot me an e-mail or peruse the slideshow on the right-hand sidebar of this site. Also, this video was shot and edited by one of the volunteers on the trip and is awesome:

Yale China 2 from Brian Wimer on Vimeo.

I've been back for months and still think about it all the time. But moving on.

This past weekend, I visited New York -- it was a make-up trip since my last planned NYC weekend was foiled by that bitch, I mean, hurricane, Irene. As usual, I had a wonderful time and saw many friends, not to mention St. Vincent and the cast of Arrested Development, courtesy of the New Yorker festival. Saturday afternoon, after brunch, I found myself with some time to kill. I wandered through Soho, the first neighborhood I really became familiar with because of my internship at the HERE Arts Center during the summer of 2000. I was listening to my iPod and kept skipping around to melancholy love songs. At first I thought my mood might be related to the dreary/cloudy Fall day, but then it hit me: spending time in New York feels like spending time with ex. An ex with whom you are friendly, but also may still have some feelings for. To put it in Facebook terms, "it's complicated," my relationship with New York.

New York and I were together for 5 years (2003-2008), but actually a little more if you count the summers in college I spent living there before moving there in 2003. At one point, I thought we'd always be together. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. But over time, the passion fizzled and we grew apart. I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't good enough for New York, that I'd never be able to thrive. I tried hard to make it work, experimenting with 4 different apartments in 3 boroughs. I even tried out different careers: full-time jobs, part-time jobs, freelancing. Writing, acting, marketing, editing, teaching. It was exhausting and heart- (and wallet-) breaking. When grad school offered me the chance to leave, I took it.

Still, when I visit now, my heart races; I catch myself thinking "maybe I didn't give New York enough of a chance, maybe now it could work...." But the reasons why we don't work surround me, like the pervading urine stench of the F train. Trying to hail a cab in the rain, paying $17 for an omelette -- I felt the familiar rage returning. Relationships bring out various things in people (i.e. "you bring out the best in me"), and New York brings out a side of me that I don't really like, an aggressive, angry side. And I know if I moved back, nothing would be different and I'd just get hurt again. Boston may not bring out the best in me, but it's...comfortable. We have a less volatile/more stable union. We co-exist peacefully.

But man, we did have some good times, New York and I. Some sexy, awesome times. I know it better than any other city, including St. Louis where I lived for the first 18 years of my life. And sometimes it kills me that we can't be together.

Away we go....

This is my last blog post before embarking on an 18-day journey to China. I depart on Thursday morning and officially have entered the extremely excited-yet-nervous phase.

I'm traveling with the Yale Alumni Service Corp (YASC) and the main purpose of the trip is to volunteer in Xiuning County, which is in the Anhui province. Xiuning (pronounced "Shu-ning") comprises 9 towns and has a population of 274,000. It's located about 5 hours by bus west of Shanghai.

The YASC is organizing a summer camp for the kids of Xiuning -- I'll be helping with chorus and book club. There are a ton of different activities being offered, from photography to harmonica. Over 200 people, all somehow affiliated with Yale, are going. Many are traveling with spouses and kids -- I'm going solo. But like a contestant on Survivor/Top Chef/The Bachelor/any reality show would say, I'm not going there to make friends.



I'm going there to WIN. WIN CHINA. Well, not really. And of course, I hope to socially connect with at least some of my fellow travelers. But if I don't, that's okay. The resort where we're staying in Xiuning has its own karaoke bar, so I'm sure I can keep myself occupied there.

After a week of volunteering in Xiuning, the group flies to Beijing for three action-packed days of sightseeing (The Great Wall, Tiananmen Square etc). Then I will fly on by myself to Hong Kong for the final three nights. For the detailed itinerary, click here.

This trip is coming at just the right time for me -- I have been feeling stalled professionally and personally and an international summer adventure will hopefully invigorate me for the fall.

And now, some amusing Mandarin idioms, courtesy of Chinese for Dummies:

gua yang tou mai gou rou: to display a lamb's head but sell dog meat, i.e. to cheat people

da ao jing she: to beat the grass to frighten the snake, i.e. to give a warning

che shui ma long: cars flowing like water and horses creating a solid line looking like a dragon, i.e. traffic

Hu shuo ba dao: to talk nonsense in eight directions, i.e. to be full of crap

I will have internet access for most of the trip, thanks to my iPad...not sure if I'll have time to blog, but I'll do my best!

Thirty and Flirty and Thriving (?)

I've been listening to this song a lot lately -- "I Don't Feel Young" by Wye Oak, an indie folk group currently touring with the Decemberists.

As some of you know, I turned 30 on Tuesday. And it's true -- I don't feel young. This felt like a significant birthday. I was nothing but excited about it for the months leading up to it; I'm optimistic about the next decade and what it might hold. And yet, the day before my birthday, I suddenly felt a little panicked and sad. My 20s are over and what do I have to show for them?

Well, I don't have a great answer for that. But I don't think I wasted them entirely. I spent most of them in New York, the last few years in Boston. I've definitely had a lot of....adventures. I'll probably have some in my 30s, too. Also, according to my stepmom, in my 30s I am allowed to wear more outrageous outfits and larger jewelry.

And as for my gift to myself? I am actually doing none of the things I wrote about. Psych! However, the solo trip to Spain received the most votes and I am doing something similar -- I'm (hopefully, pending some scholarship money) going on a service trip to China for two weeks in July. I'll spend one week volunteering in a rural province outside of Shanghai and one week sightseeing in Beijing. I'm super excited about it and feel it's a great thing way to travel and also give something back.

In terms of the birthday itself, the day was largely uneventful. It started with my printer deciding to no longer work and almost making me late for a meeting. After my meeting I got a manicure, a fun new haircut and threw myself a party at Marliave, which was a blast. Friends from Lineage, Emerson, and Funkin' A! all represented. This weekend, I'm headed to New York to celebrate with college and post-college friends.

This blog is 2.5 years old and I'm 30. Hopefully, both are getting better with age. I'll conclude here with a great Kenneth Koch poem, a wistful and funny ode to the decade I just exited.

To My Twenties

How lucky that I ran into you
When everything was possible
For my legs and arms, and with hope in my heart
And so happy to see any woman
O woman! O my twentieth year!
Basking in you, you
Oasis from both growing and decay
Fantastic unheard of nine- or ten-year oasis
A palm tree, hey! And then another
And another (and water!)
I’m still very impressed by you. Whither,
Midst falling decades, have you gone? Oh in what lucky fellow,
Unsure of himself, upset, and unemployable
For the moment in any case, do you live now?
From my window I drop a nickel
By mistake. With
You I race down to get it
But I find there on
The street instead, a good friend,
X—- N——, who says to me
Kenneth do you have a minute?
And I say yes! I am in my twenties!
I have plenty of time! In you I marry,
In you I first go to France; I make my best friends
In you, and a few enemies. I
Write a lot and am living all the time
And thinking about living. I loved to frequent you
After my teens and before my thirties.
You three together in a bar
I always preferred you because you were midmost
Most lustrous apparently strongest
Although now that I look back on you
What part have you played?
You never, ever, were stingy.
What you gave me you gave whole
But as for telling
Me how best to use it
You weren’t a genius at that.
Twenties, my soul
Is yours for the asking
You know that, if you ever come back.

2010 Report Card/Best and Worst of 2010

One of my favorite annual issues of People arrived last Friday -- the Best and Worst issue, where you get to re-experience all the best photos/stories/gossip/gowns from the past year ALL OVER AGAIN. I also recently completed teaching my first year at Emerson and got to do something I've always fantasized about: grade people. And this is college, so my grades count, bitches!

In honor of these two exciting events, this blog post will be a hybrid of superficial ratings and photographic highlights of the past year. 2010 was an odd year, to be honest. Not awesome, not awful. So here we go!

CAREER: A-

Pretty much solid developments in this category. I upgraded from back-server to server at Lineage and landed a competitive teaching position. And I actually genuinely love both my jobs. I really enjoy expanding young minds and telling people what arctic char tastes like (a more delicate, flakier salmon). And I think I'm pretty good at both, though we'll see if my instructor evaluations confirm or refute this. I don't know if I'll teach another year at Emerson or not, but I think I will definitely continue to teach...somewhere and in some capacity.

Oh, and on the writing front, I picked up some freelance work from Time Out Boston. Because like 2Pac, I have "ambitionz az a ridah" [sic].

HEALTH: B

I had bronchitis for basically all of October and mysteriously contracted strep C, which is rare in humans and common in horses (!), in June. And I gained 5 lbs. But hey, I didn't have a kidney stone and my belly button remained infection-free!

LOVE LIFE: B-

I mean, it's still a passing grade. After a significant relationship ended in February, I dabbled on Match.com and began what I thought would end up being a significant relationship, but it flamed out quickly. My feelings on this relationship are best captured in this Rosemary Clooney song:



(p.s. I want that dress big time)

The year is ending on an upswing though, with a new gentleman in the picture. For fear of jinxing it, I'll stop there. It may not be love, but for now, it's nice and that's enough for me.

FINANCES: D

Once upon a time, I actually would put some of each paycheck into a savings account. That time is...not now. I have no emergency nest egg and I'm tired of living hand-to-mouth. Being broke is cute and charming when you're 20...not so much when you're 30, as I soon will be. I need to be better at budgeting and have more discipline when it comes to eating/drinking out. And my rent eats up way too much of my income, so if I stay in Boston, I think I need to suck it up and live with roommates. Sorry, studio :(

TRAVEL: A

I went to Holland and Belgium in July! Read all about it here. I also made it to St. Louis, New Haven, Chicago and New York.

ENTERTAINMENT: B+

I saw Peewee Herman on Broadway. Loved Black Swan, Catfish, and The Social Network. Listened to a lot of Florence + the Machine and Robyn. Saw a Puccini opera and a burlesque version of The Nutcracker involving a gigantic candy cane penis that sprayed snow. Watched some shitty reality television. Spent too much time on YouTube. Should have seen more live music.

And now, some photos of BEST moments from the past year. I don't think I will include photos of worst moments, because come on, when I'm crying and drinking alone in my apartment, who wants to take a picture? Maude can't operate a camera.

At a black-tie wedding at the Harvard Club

My first Red Sox game

With my best friend Jon in Chicago

Boarding the train to Bruges

Celebrating my Dad's 65th

On Cape Cod for Labor Day

Halloween

at the Lineage holiday party

Ok, 2010....maybe you weren't so bad....

A shout-out to Emerson undergrads

After a semester of teaching the Emerson class of 2014, I have to say, I'm impressed with their creativity, humor, and resourcefulness. A while back, my alma mater Yale put out a musical admissions video. It was well-made, but kind of too slick for my taste. The Emerson equivalent, I think, is much funnier and more likely to actually appeal to potential applicants. The video has gone viral and was featured on Jezebel this week -- in case you missed it, I'm posting it below.



As a final project in the writing class I teach at Emerson, I asked my students to "take an approach" (i.e. update/subvert/twist) a classic fairytale. I gave them the freedom to use any medium they wanted and many chose to make videos of some sort. One group turned Goldilocks into a modern-day BU sorority girl blogging about her romantic conquests; another made a satirical indie film trailer that I find very amusing -- click here to watch.

We had our last class on Monday and toward the end of the period, I asked students to share their favorite memory from the semester. One student spilled the beans that at one point, they all discovered my blog and several of them were looking at it during class, unbeknownst to me. I apparently kept asking them what was so funny. I mean, I'm not at all surprised that they found my blog -- when you Google me, it's the first hit -- but I do think it's funny that they were so secretive about it (and proud of themselves for not letting on that they'd found it).

I'm looking forward to meeting a new crop of Emerson freshmen in January and hope they are as awesome as my current group. If any of them are reading this, YOU RULE and I hope you keep me posted about your performances and achievements.

Christmastime is here

...and my apartment is DECKED OUT. I have a lot of decorations, none of which I purchased for myself. Such is the benefit of having a holiday-obsessed mother who has sent me about three boxes worth of Christmas stuff, ranging from semi-creepy Dickensian carolers...


to vintage bottle-brush trees:



As for my tree this year, well, there's really only one way to describe it: FIERCE.


I mean, it's fucking beautiful, right? It fits perfectly between my desk and shoe rack. I bought and decorated it on Sunday, while sipping Trader Joe's chocolate-flavored eggnog. Then I watched Holiday Inn and cried at the end, like I always do.

I own three Christmas movies: Holiday Inn, White Christmas, and a very special film that I have never seen, but plan to watch this year. Christmas Evil.


It's about a serial killer who dresses up like Santa and wants to "give everyone the presents they deserve...even if that means giving the gift of MURDER!"

Very excited to watch this. I mean, I love Halloween and I love Christmas. Clearly I will love this film. Maybe even as much as I love this:



As one YouTube commenter noted, "Gotta love the Muppets for recognizing that this song is about attempted rape."

What did we do before YouTube?

Sometimes I use this blog to reflect on the great issues of the day, the unique challenges of being human in this complex modern era. And sometimes I use it to post silly videos featuring cats.

Meet my new hero, Katherine Chloe Cahoon

Stealing these videos from Dlisted, but I can't help myself. This woman has a book. And I'm pretty sure she's functionally retarded. She also clearly adopted the presentational speaking approach of fellow animatronic bimbo Brenda Dickson.

Mind. Blown.

I really hope this guy runs for President

If there's one thing I admire in a candidate, it's unbridled enthusiasm.




You have to admit, watching this guy in a debate against Obama would be pretty entertaining.

Republicans. They would make me laugh if only I didn't find them so scary.

Hup Holland!

I've now been back from Europe for a week and I'm experiencing the classic post-vacation slump. After looking forward to the trip for months, I miss....looking forward to it. But the good news is, it was everything I hoped it would be and I have amazing pictures/memories, some of which I will now share on this blog. Below are the highlights and insights from my week-long trip to the Netherlands and Belgium, in Top Ten list form!

1. Dutch sounds and looks like a made-up Muppet language.

It's very easy to read Dutch, because it looks like a hybrid of German and English. Some of my favorite words:

winkel = store
eethuis = restaurant ("eat house")
slagroom = whipped cream
graag = please
wijn = wine

Spoken Dutch sounds similar to German, but with more enthusiasm and inflection. German is kind of like Dutch, minus the joy.

2. Witnessing two World Cup victories (quarter- and semi-final) almost made a sports fan out of me. I mean, this is infectious:




3. Dutch is not one of the world's great cuisines. Though I did enjoy stamppot, a traditional dish consisting of mashed potatoes, endives, bacon, and sausage. And in Belgium, things improved culinarily:


Yes, that's a gigantic pot of mussels. The frites weren't bad, either, though I still prefer them with ketchup as opposed to mayo.

4. Sexual Chocolate (Coming to America):


vs. sexual chocolate (Bruges):


5. European train stations are about 3,000 times cooler than American train stations. Case in point: Antwerp.



6. You are not supposed to take pictures in the Red Light District, so sadly, I don't have any. I will, however, share this tidbit about prostitution from one of my guidebooks:

"If you visit one of the women, we would like to remind you, they are not always women. Do not take pictures of the women. Out on the streets, do not shout or use bad language towards these women. Show some respect. If you have any problems with a girl or a pimp, do not hesitate to ask a police officer. We know why you are there and you can hardly surprise us."

Another guidebook gem, re: urinating in public: "A dirty habit, and always committed by men."

7. Hash + Van Gogh Museum = stellar combination.

8. The oldest gay bar in Amsterdam, Cafe 't Mandje, was opened by a lesbian named Bet van Beeren:


9. You can buy actual wooden shoes in the Netherlands

10. Everything is prettier when you're on vacation

The Terrible Twos

On June 11, I failed to draw attention to a significant milestone: this blog is now two years old!

Isn't that an awesome Hot Wheels cake? I'm pretty sure that's not the kind of cake I got when I turned two. Mine probably had some My Little Pony bullshit on it.

One parenting website describes two-year-old behavior as "characterized by being negative about most things and often saying 'no.' The terrible twos may also find your toddler having frequent mood changes and temper tantrums."

Huh. I feel like that also describes my 20s. "No, I don't want to work at a real job! I want to stay in college FOREVER. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The Sesame Street website has some helpful visual aids. At age two, it becomes increasingly important to start enforcing/building good eating habits. My favorite Sesame Street character, Cookie Monster, has an important song about this:




I find it interesting that the video has good stuff to say about nutrition, but delivers it through a Muppet who uses terrible grammar and broken English ("Hey, what that? That look like bunch of fruit!"). Learning to speak correctly is apparently not a priority for two-year-olds.

I'm not trying to hate on Cookie Monster, though. He's the best. I own a Tickle-Me-Cookie-Monster. He hangs out with my other strange stuffed items, which include Maurice (a stuffed mustache) and the infamous Catbread.

Yes, I still sleep with stuffed animals. DON'T JUDGE ME. If you do, I might have to throw a temper tantrum.

Happy (belated) birthday, Vagnino Monologues!

Making it easy for the clean up woman

The title of this post refers to a 1971 Betty Wright song from one of my favorite 80s movies, Maid to Order, starring Ally Sheedy, Beverly D'Angelo and Tom Skerritt. It's a Cinderella tale, with Sheedy playing a hard-partying spoiled brat who gets her comeuppance when her father (Skerritt) wishes, after she's arrested for drunk driving, that he had never had a daughter. Magically, this comes to pass, thanks to a Fairy Godmother (D'Angelo). Sheedy is forced to actually get a job and the only one she can get: maid.




Why is this movie on my mind today? Well, on Monday, I hired a cleaning lady to clean my apartment for the first time ever. I decided after two years in a small space with a shed-happy cat, it was time for a professional to come in. If I ever want gentleman-callers to stay the night, I need to feel confident that they won't leave the next morning covered in cat hair.

I turned to Yelp for advice and found Neide Teixeira, who agreed to come to my studio and give it a thorough scrub-down and dusting. Sunday night, in preparation, I engaged in a somewhat funny ritual: the pre-cleaning cleaning. People who've paid for cleaning services before, you know what I'm talking about -- the cleaning you have to do BEFORE the strangers show up to clean your house. This involves hiding porn (which wasn't issue for me, unless Neide was planning to clean the hard drive of my laptop), drug paraphenalia, and anything else that might be questionable (The Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold on DVD) or illegal (pet ferret).

Neide and two other women showed up on Monday and got right to work, while I took Maude to the vet for a check-up. When we came home, my jaw dropped open -- I had no idea such cleaniness was possible. Surfaces were gleaming, my bed was made and THE INSIDE OF MY ANCIENT CRUSTY TOASTER OVEN WAS CLEAN, bereft of the burned residue that had been accumulating basically since I inherited it from my father back in 2003.

Very pleasing.

Epiphany: I just downloaded "Clean Up Woman" and it's totally not about actual professional cleaning women, but rather the woman who steals your man when you've been ignoring him. So "making it easy" for the clean up woman has nothing to do with doing a preliminary sweep or stashing contraband. You learn something new every day.

That's "Professor Vagnino" to you

Great news: after a grueling and fiercely competitive application/interview process, I have successfully landed a teaching position at Emerson for the 2010-2011 school year!

I will be teaching two courses: Intro to College Writing in the fall, and Research Writing in the spring. Both are freshmen composition courses that meet 3 times a week (each class is 75 minutes). The pay is basically slave's wages, but I'm not complaining -- I love teaching writing and this will be great experience and hopefully open up other professional opportunities after I leave Emerson.

The first semester course is pretty structured -- already broken down into four units and all the readings come from books that the department has chosen. I'm more excited for the research writing course, which is much more open and allows students to experiment in different genres. Instead of position papers, I can assign them to write memoirs, graphic novels, op-ed columns, manifestos, press releases, film reviews, blogs -- whatever genre/rhetorical situation I deem fit that will require them to do some research into the genre's requirements and audience. And I get to pick all the readings. Mwahahahahaha!

The research writing course can also involve some multimedia projects, if you subscribe to composition theory god Joseph Harris's belief that "texts" are not just written documents. Texts are "objects that have been made and designed -- artifacts that can in some way be shelved, filed, or stored and then retrieved and reexamined" (Rewriting 11). Under this definition, texts can include movies, songs, plays, advertisements, photographs, web pages etc. Emerson students are very tech-savvy, so I plan to take advantage of this. Check out some of these "texts" that were created by freshmen who were studying PSAs as a genre:











Pretty impressive....anyway, I can't wait to start crafting my syllabus!

Emerson College class of 2014: I look forward to meeting you.

THE INTERNET

According to the hit Broadway show Avenue Q, the internet is for porn. And while I wouldn't disagree that it promotes the proliferation of that industry, I do think it serves many other purposes as well. Without Facebook, I would not be in touch with the elementary school friend who, after we reconnected, asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (or, for that matter, all the boys in middle school who didn't ask me to slow dance because I was a late bloomer). Without MySpace, Tila Tequila would not have a career that extended beyond a stripper pole.

Some claim the Web brings us together; others insist it has driven people farther apart by digitizing relationships (and I'll admit, my phone demeanor has suffered). One recent online development, however, strikes me as a throwback to the "old internet" I grew up with while also managing to be insidiously innovative.

I speak, of course, of the phenomenon of Chat Roulette.


If you've over 25, chances are you haven't heard of this site; it's pretty new and all the rage among the young Web-savvy kids. The concept is simple: talk to totally random strangers, selected randomly. But here's the really creepy part: with webcam technology, you can SEE and HEAR the creepy strangers. At any given time, there are thousands of people on the site and when you log on, you suddenly find yourself face-to-face with one of them. And if you don't like what you see, you can simply click "next" and talk to someone else.

As my brother pointed out, the sheer randomness of Chat Roulette is reminiscent of the 90s chat rooms I used to frequent when I was an AOL user. My family had an account and I had my own screen name: Liminal15 (precocious, I know). And sometimes, because I was a curious and horny teenager, I would chat, shall we say flirtatiously, with people I didn't know.

Chat Roulette takes this to the next level -- and having visited the site a few times (trust me, it's better to experience it with friends as opposed to solo), I can say that about 50% of the time, I found myself not so much face-to-face with a stranger, but face-to-penis. The truth is, Chat Roulette is saturated with guys who just want to jerk off on camera for the exhibitionist thrill. They don't really want to talk. The only communication I received was rarely in the form of complete sentences; one guy said "titties?" and another asked me to flash him after waving a ten-dollar bill at the camera, as if I could absorb the money via osmosis. I still can't decide if this gesture was tacky (I'm only worth $10?) or polite (it's the thought that counts?)

It's a strange world we live in, folks. And Chat Roulette just made it a little....ickier. Except this guy, he's awesome:



Another weird/scary internet trend in the news: Human-flesh Search Engines in China. Apparently, people gather together online and target those in their communities that they don't like and carry out a kind of mob bullying. This sometimes results in the victims losing their jobs and having to relocate. I guess if I had to pick between being harassed online by a faceless mob or being inundated with images of masturbating oddballs, I choose the latter?

Which brings this post pretty much full circle: the internet is for porn (unless you are unpopular and live in China)

Higher Education

Inevitably, once I get to know someone in a work or school setting, they ask me where I went to college. Sometimes my answer of "Yale" elicits a nonchalant nod or "Oh." But more often than not, I get something more along the lines of "Whoa" or "Wow," which makes me feel a little proud but also nervous because people tend to associate going to Yale with not just being smart, but also being a rich snob. I'm definitely not rich and I do my best not to be a snob (though I have pondered the question).

But let me assure you, you should not be intimidated by my alma mater. There were plenty of absolutely ABSURD classes offered at Yale, classes with arguably little to no scholarly merit. Here is a sampling:

Science Fiction, Science Fact? (Physics)
This class examined the actual "science" behind stuff from Star Trek and other sci-fi pop culture gems. Like, how would a Holodeck actually work and is beaming even theoretically possible? Most of my friends took this class pass/fail and, I kid you not, came very close to failing. Turns out, there was actual math and science involved.

Mass Media and Mass Culture (Sociology)
All I know about this class was that those who took it got to go on a field trip to Chicago to attend a taping of The Ricki Lake Show. The topic that day: "I Can't Live Without My Weave."

Computers and the Modern Intellectual Agenda (Computer Science)
I was dumb enough to attempt this one, only after I was assured that no actual computer programming would be happening and that my shaky understanding of how the internet works would not be a problem (tubes underground? magic?) Joke was on me, though -- the professor, who was missing one hand because the Unibomber sent him a bomb in the mail, hated me. Maybe because I never did the reading or went to class. And that, boys and girls, is how Katie got her one and only C in college.

Local Flora (Biology)
Some schools have "Rocks for Jocks"; we had Local Flora, a.k.a. nature walks for stoners. The class consisted of long walks through New Haven's less urban areas and then...discussions about those walks.

Heterosexuality (Women's and Gender Studies)
When I told my mother about the existence of this course, she began to seriously question the monetary investment in my Ivy League education. My freshman year boyfriend signed up because he saw in the syllabus that he'd get to read a lot of Maxim. You know, to understand how his heterosexuality was socially constructed.

Camp as a Genre (???)
As opposed to an childhood summertime institution. Can't remember which department offered this, but every gay man on campus tried to take it. The coursework included screenings of John Waters films and Oscar Wilde's Salome. My roommate Laura wrote a research paper on Showgirls. I truly regret not signing up for this class.

Doomed Love in the Western World (English)
This was a legit seminar, with an awesome reading list (Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, House of Mirth etc). What made it funny/tragic, however, was the fact that it was taught/created by a member of the faculty going through a messy divorce with another faculty member. Whom she did her best not to trash talk, even though the entire campus knew he'd been caught cheating on her with a grad student. Despite her middle age, the professor started to coming to class in leather pants and occasionally let personal details about her new single life slip (like the fact that she was sleeping with the young Italian guy she hired to paint her new apartment).

So you see, my undergraduate education had its questionable moments. I'd love to hear what ridiculous courses you readers may have encountered in your pursuits of higher education. Oh, and speaking of higher education, my junior year I took a class called The High Modern Novel. And on 4/20, as you can guess, it became the Really High Modern Novel.

Finally, let me settle this once and for all -- Yale is nothing like this:

It's funny 'cuz it's true

Sometimes I feel good about my decision to go to grad school. And sometimes I feel, like Arrested Development's Gob, that I've made a terrible mistake. This clip from The Simpsons hits a little too close to home....