Recently, my job description at Hong Kong Harvard has expanded from just cocktail waitressing to cocktail waitressing and bartending. On either Friday or Saturday, I get to tend the "baby bar" on the third floor, which serves only beer and shots. It's a totally different perspective, to be behind the bar -- there is more respect and less groping. And I have a great view of the dance floor, which if you've been to my place of work, know is highly entertaining.
Hong Kong reminds me a lot of Toad's in New Haven: it's a cheapish college bar where you can do tequila shots and drink Bud Light while (almost) shamelessly dancing to hip hop and Britney. I myself only went to Toad's three times in four years, and once was to see a They Might Be Giants concert. But the other two times, I did what you're supposed to do in such establishments -- binge-drank like it was going out of style and made a fool of myself on the dance floor. And watching people at Hong Kong has confirmed my worst fears of how ridiculous I must have looked.
My new vantage point offers phenomenal people-watching opportunities. FYI, how you interact with your bartender says more about you than you realize.
Some observations:
Girls tip better than guys
Everyone told me that being a cute girl would be my golden ticket and to wear low-cut shirts to get more tips, but I've found that unless the girlfriend/date is watching, some guys don't tip appropriately. What is appropriate? $1 a drink. Period. Pretty easy. Even with beer, guys. I'm getting paid $2.65/hr, people.
Yes, I am making conversation with you because it's my job. Most likely I do not want your phone number
I mean, I won't be offended if you try to give it to me. I'll probably be flattered. But don't wait by the phone, dude.
Don't be a creeper on the dance floorLast night, there was this shady dude whose signature move was to sneak up and stealthily freak-dance on unsuspecting girls. When they would finally notice, they would get this horrified look on their faces and run away. I saw this guy do this literally 400 times over the course of two hours. Don't be this guy.
You know how you think you look really fierce? This is what you actually look like:
What you order does say a lot about you
When you ask if I can make you a Sex On The Beach, I am judging you. Especially since there's a big sign over my bar that says I only serve beer.
It's Saturday and I'll be back at Hong Kong again tonight....so drink responsibly! Your bartender is watching you.
Ever since I've been of legal drinking age, I have toyed with the idea of becoming a bartender. The money's good and it seems like it would be a blast, assuming you can get a job in a bar with decent, friendly customers. Besides, I like to drink and I like to encourage others to do so. So when asked about my plans to make/save money while in grad school, I have been telling everyone that I'm hoping to land a bartending gig in Boston.
Step #1 of this plan: Go to bartending school so that I can actually learn how to make Alabama Slammers and Woo Woo shooters.
Tonight will be my third class at New England Bartending School (NEBS), a company that, despite its name, has training programs in all 50 states. So far, the best part about school has been the awesome accents of my instructors and fellow classmates. Oh, and the really dated training videos that accompany the course. The one we watched on the first night had a voice-over that announced that "the food and beverage industry has been expanding rapidly in the past decade, and studies indicate that it will continue to grow at this pace at least until the year 2005."
The video also attributed the rising popularity of bartending to the success of the "recent Tom Cruise movie, 'Cocktail.'" I was in 2nd grade when Cocktail came out, friends.
Then there was the 10-minute instructional video on garnishes, or rather, "gahnishes." This one had a soundtrack of Thai house music and the script sounded like it had been written in a language other than English, and then poorly translated. Phrases like "Here is to be your lemon twist" and "Yellow is your lemon skin" flashed across the screen during a close-up shot of a man peeling a lemon on a cutting board. Lemon twists, FYI, are considered to be the "hahdest gahnish." Then, an important bit of information, delivered with requisite solemnity:"The pineapple is a very important gahnish."
The first step in cutting a pineapple open is to "disregahd the leafy stem."
Guys, garnishes are like super-important. This strikes me as odd -- I never notice them, personally. But apparently, garnishes are what distinguishes the men from the boys in the bartending world. Garnish right, or get packing.
My instructor Mark has a mantra: "work smaht, not hahd." Yesterday, we made mahgahritas; today, it's mahtinis. Learning the fancy names is going to be tough -- seriously, did you know a rum and coke is technically a Cuba Libra? I shit you not. Next time you go into a bar, try ordering that and see what happens. I bet $10 the bartender thinks you're talking about a bad Jack Black film about Mexican wrestling.
