Monday, January 19, 2009

A Rant

Ok, I usually don't use this blog to just vent about shit that bothers me, but I can't help it. In the past few days, I have had some run-ins with uptight old white people in Boston. There are a lot of them and I'm sure many are quite lovely, but two occurrences bear mention re: unacceptable uptight cranky behavior.

On Saturday afternoon, I went to see "Slumdog Millionaire" at the Fenway AMC Theater. I was with two friends and we were QUIETLY chatting during the previews. Not the film itself, the previews. I'm sure you see where this is going. This old guy in row in front of us turns around and very nastily tells us to keep it down. Look, it drives me up the wall when people talk during movies, but I thought the commerical/preview portion was fair game for talking. I mean, we've all seen the Fandango ad a million times before, do you really need to hear it again? It's paper bags with fake hair talking, people.

Also, you can politely ask someone to keep it down. If you think someone is being rude, you don't have to be rude back.

But even more amazing is what happened tonight, not in a movie theater, but right outside one. I went to see a bizarre documentary about the inventor of the Theremin at Coolidge Corner. Waiting in a long line outside before we were allowed in the theater, my friend Alexis lit up a cigarette. And moments later, a crazy woman who was at least 15 people ahead of us in line comes up and says brusquely that the smoke is "bothering everybody" and that she should put it out immediately.

I want to reiterate that we were OUTSIDE. Now, I'm not a smoker and I love that when I come home from restaurants and bars my clothes don't smell like smoke. But to my knowledge, smoking outside is still legal. It's the one place where I really don't care if you smoke because there's this nifty thing called wind that makes the smoke go away. My friend didn't want to start a fight with a senior citizen in Brookline, so she apologized and put out her cigarette. I think I was more outraged than she was.

Then in the movie theater parking lot, right next to where the line had formed, a car alarm started going off. The owner of the car immediately tried to disable it but didn't succeed for about 30 seconds. And would you believe it, the same crazy woman starts yelling "READ THE MANUAL!!!" to this poor embarrassed dude.

Does this woman live in soundproof oxygenated bubble? Well, now that I think about it, if she lives in Brookline...then, yes. But if smoke and noise bother you, you might want to never go out in public. And staying away from heavy metal concerts might also be a good plan.

On a side note, theremins are totally fierce instruments. Listen to the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" if you don't believe me -- the theremin is the weird high-pitched spooky sound that happens during the chorus.


J.A.G. said...

No, totally my bad there, ruining the ad for Angels and Demons. The likes of which we haven't seen before. Oh wait...

J.A.G. said...

Btw, way to kill Inauguration Day ranting against white people.

Alexis said...

Haha, that woman was AMAZING--absolutely crusin' for a bruisin'. We should start a fan club of crotchety old farts in Brookline. Huzzah.