Friday, November 21, 2008

Who is Sarah Palin's publicist?

"Sarah, baby, it's going to be great, we're going to do the interview while turkeys are being slaughtered in the background. We'll show those pansy liberal vegetarians who the real Americans are! Wait, Sarah, why are you wearing a Burberry scarf and drinking Starbucks? You're a real everyday normal woman, with real everyday normal problems like a knocked-up teenage daughter, right? Right?!?!"

(thanks to Jocelyn and Levi for sending this to me...)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Boola Boola

As some of you may know, this Saturday marks the 125th anniversary of the Harvard-Yale Football Game, an event categorized by immense anticipation, binge drinking, and very poor athleticism.

In case you are not sure which team to root for, let me help you out. First, click here for some appropriate music to play while you read.

1. Yale's team is the Bulldogs. Bulldogs are cute and feisty (just like me!)

Harvard's team (and their daily newspaper) is the Crimson, which reminds me of my period, as well as that scene in "Clueless" when Alicia Silverstone tells Wallace Shawn she is "surfing the crimson wave." To summarize: yuck.

2. BILL CLINTON went to Yale! George Bush also went to Yale.

3. Yale's fight songs were written by Cole Porter. Perhaps you've heard of him?

4. The Yale Precision Marching Band,
in addition to featuring standard band instruments, includes violins, bagpipes, accordions, keyboards, cowbells, triangles, and air guitars. Their halftime shows are more about pyrotechnics than fancypants formations. Basically, they like to blow shit up on the field.

5. Harvard sucks (and Princeton doesn't matter).

There are too many other reasons to list here, but basically, GO ELIS, and wear blue on Saturday! If you're in the Cambridge area, visit me Friday night at Hong Kong in Harvard Square or track me down at the Yale Club of Boston's tailgate on Saturday.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Feels Like

Ok, so maybe I'm being oversensitive, but whenever I log on to and see something like this, my first reaction is "Don't tell me how I feel,! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!"

What if I go outside, and to me it feels like 29 degrees? What then? For all you know,, I'm dressed super warmly today. Maybe I feel like it's 65 degrees and sunny. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? Are you going to tell me I'm WRONG?!?!

I just think this feature of the website is rather presumptuous. The science of weather forecasting seems somewhat comical to begin with, but this crosses the line. Now meteorologists are not just telling me what the temperature is, they are also speculating how my body is registering that temperature.

It's like and I are in an unhealthy relationship and I try to express my feelings, and tells me what I'm really feeling, which is a thinly veiled prescriptive statement about how I should be feeling. Like there's something wrong with me if today's high of 36 degrees didn't feel more like 28 degrees.

Well, I have news for you, You do not know how I am feeling, so I would appreciate it if we could just keep things professional. I do not dispute your claim that humidity is at 50% and there are 11 mph winds coming from the northwest. I believe that the sun will rise tomorrow at 6:48 am and set at 4:46 pm, as depressing as that is. All I want from you is a general sense of how fucking cold and/or windy/snowy it is outside so I can dress accordingly. You do your job and I'll do mine, ok?

All best,

p.s. I do get a kick out of the pet safety forecast feature. Though Maude never ventures beyond my apartment and sleeps approximately 16 hours/day, I'm sure she would be grateful to know her "flea comfort index" should she ever find herself awake and outdoors.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Boston v. New York

I have now lived in Beantown for a little over three months, so it seems like a good time to reflect a bit on my life here and how the adjustment has been going. For the most part, it's been a smooth transition, though there are things I miss about my old life in New York. Specifically:

1. 24-hour subway service

2. 24-hour restaurants

3. 24-hour life in general

Being a student again is fun and it's nice to feel like I've matured since my undergraduate days in terms of my study habits. I still write papers the night before they're due, but I generally think about my thesis and create an outline a few days in advance, which makes the writing process easier. And I'm much more comfortable speaking in class. And much better about attending class. On time. Having done the reading.

But being a student in Boston is as annoying as being an actress in New York. In New York, I used to not admit to being an actor because, well, EVERYONE is an actor. Responding to the question of "So, what do you do?" with "Well, actually, I do theatre" usually results in an eye-roll which translates roughly to "yeah, you and every other asshole. Let's just cut to the chase where you give me a freakin' postcard for your next show so I can deposit said postcard into the next trash receptacle, k?"

Since Boston is a city of students (about half a million, to be exact), all you generally hear people talking about (on the T, in coffee shops, anywhere) is 1) their classes and 2) how wasted they were last night ("Seriously, I was so wasted last night. For reals. I mean, I don't remember anything at all. Except how wasted I was.")

So I guess it's fair to say that I miss the social diversity of New York. Boston feels like one big mostly-white campus sometimes. Which in terms of the abundance of cheap beer is a good thing...but otherwise, gets old fast. I do not want to move back to New York -- that I only see happening if I mysteriously come into a large sum of money. Which now that Barack Obama is President, I guess could happen. I mean, according to this woman, all my financial woes are pretty much behind me:

As one international student whose college admissions essay I was editing wrote, "The road is long and hubbly," my friends. That applies to me and our new President-elect. Hubbly, hubbly, hubbly.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Note to Emerson students: Weed is still illegal

I woke up Wednesday morning still buzzed from Barack's victory to find this e-mail, from the Dean of Students at Emerson College, in my inbox:

Dear Students,

In light of yesterday’s vote to decriminalize the possession of small quantities of marijuana in Massachusetts some individuals have inquired if its passage will impact College policy. Possession is still unlawful in Massachusetts and the College is still subject to the federal Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act. That law conditions the College’s receipt of federal funds on its enforcement of standards of conduct that clearly prohibit unlawful possession, use, or distribution of illicit drugs. Thus, please be advised that the Student Code of Conduct as it pertains to marijuana possession, use, or distribution remains as written in the Student Handbook. A PDF of the Student Handbook can be found at . The College’s sanctioning guidelines for marijuana possession, use, or distribution is located on pages 92 and 93; the College’s Alcohol and Other Drug (AOD) policy is located on pages 97 - 102.


Translation: it is still against college policy to smoke chronic on campus. Sorry.

I have to give mad props however to the "individuals" who needed this policy clarified. I hope they were stoner students. Stoner grad students would be even better.

I hope many of you are celebrating the passage of Prop 2 this weekend. Yes we can (and only incur a $100 fine if caught with less than an ounce)!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Happy Belated Halloween!

Ok, it's two days late, but's the thought that counts.

I spent Halloween night waitressing (in my guitar costume), but yesterday, in honor of the Day of the Dead, I rode the ferry out to Salem, MA with some other Emerson grad students. Though various websites assured us that Halloween festivities would be happening all weekend, the town was actually pretty quiet. By the time we arrived at noon, they had already taken away the 1,000-pound pumpkin. We were greatly disappointed.

We did visit the Salem Witch Museum (which would have been better had it featured an animatronic Tituba) and then hung out at the Psychic Fair, where I received a reading from The Stone Lady. We also pondered our mortality in a historic graveyard, which was conveniently located next to a fried dough stand and the New England Pirate Museum.

Since no one was burned at the stake or wrongfully imprisoned, I guess the trip was a success. And check out the gorgeous sunset we witnessed while waiting for the commuter rail:

And now, two spooky videos, both filmed yesterday by moi. The first is not for the faint at heart!

Listening to a cappella the day after Halloween with a raging hangover = horrifying.

And finally, a Halloween hat that sings and dances.