Well, I put off writing about this on my blog because I have been coming to terms with it on my own and adjusting, but I'm not one to shy away from writing about my personal life, so here goes: I am once again single and I am pretty terrible at it.
I tend to jump from relationship to relationship, with little down time for reflection in between. So I'm making a conscious effort to really be ALONE for a while. Just because I need to prove to myself that I can be on my own and feel good about myself without the awesome validation that comes with having a significant other (i.e. "See? I can't suck too much because THIS PERSON loves me!")
Perks of being single? Um, let's see:
1. Dancing uproariously to that Beyonce song
2. Shamelessly flirting with people who are totally wrong for me
3. Less shaving/waxing (money saved can be put toward important things like shoes)
I'm sure there are more perks, I just haven't figured them out yet. Oh yeah -- more time with friends. That's a good one.
I'm not trying to whine -- I've been very blessed in my relationships. And I'm on excellent, friendly terms with my recent ex, who is a delightful human being in every sense of the word. We're having lunch tomorrow, in fact. But it's daunting to think about starting over with someone new, even if I'm not rushing into it. Eventually, I will want to date again and the idea of having to start all over, convince yet another man that my relative high maintenance is worth it....it feels like a Sisyphean task. Hell, just finding a man that knows with "Sisyphean" means is going to be a challenge.
But for now, I'm just going to try to relax and trust that someday, someone will like it enough to put a ring on it.
1 comment:
Sadly, I do not know what Sisyphean means... I had to look it up. But, what I do know is what it's like to jump from relationship to relationship.
There was one time in my life (just after moving to a new city) that I did successfully maneuvered a great single lifestyle...but it seemed that as soon as I got comfortable with it I met someone (who turned out to be the worst guy I've date so far: cheater, etc.) and it all came toppling down. I haven't been single since that guy!
Anyhow, I feel ya sister! Hang in there... from one serial monogamy dater to another, I can tell you that it will get better...and then maybe bad again, and then good, then bad, but will end up good. :)
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