Saturday, February 18, 2012

First World Problems

I woke up the other morning with a great idea: to start a Tumblr blog of First World Problems. I started writing down ideas, envisioning my blog becoming a wild success, virally forwarded, linked to on Gawker, eventually culminating in a book deal (you know, the type of book you buy on Dec. 23 for your cousin because you can't think of anything else to get him and it's on display near the register at Barnes & Noble on a table labeled "Humorous Stocking Stuffers").

Then I Googled "tumblr first world problems" and of course, such blogs already exist. Four of them, to be exact. Now there's a first world problem -- getting scooped on your snarky million-dollar tumblr blog idea.

Still, after perusing the existing blogs, I think some of mine were decently funny and original. And the twist here is that the list below represents my PERSONAL ACTUAL first world problems. Because why have a blog if not to use it as a platform of self-indulgence that operates under the assumption that people give a shit about my life?

So, here are my very real first world problems, in top ten list form:

10. Nowhere to play my last two letters in Words with Friends

9. is down and I just have to wait for the fucking bus like it's the Dark Ages

8. Shaw's Star Market has a dismal selection of fresh herbs (how can they not have black currant leaf? It's vital for this epicurious recipe I'm making tonight!)

7. My favorite sushi lunch deal is not available on weekends or holidays

6. I have to wait like 8 months for more episodes of Homeland

I know, Claire, I'm freaking out, too!

5. I might not have time to see "The Artist" before the Oscars

4. Shoe rack full; wine rack empty (side note-- possible memoir title?)

3. Starbuck's Blonde Roast is a disappointment (and as a light roast drinker, I had such high hopes)

2. Petco is out of my brand of organic litter, forcing me to buy Fresh Step at the bodega

1. Cab drivers constantly give me shit about paying with a credit card



Byron Igoe said...

Lovely idea to establish perspective. My current first world problem is that my car's antenna is broken, so I can't get NPR, and have to stream music from my android phone instead.

P.S. Make "el" and "leg" on the end of "nude".

Ben Nesvig said...

I love your First World Problems.

I had the exact same train of thought for starting a First World Problems blog as you did. But then I leapfrogged that idea and wrote a book about it instead.

J.A.G. said...

rWill it accept "la"? If so, try GALA (in the middle of the board). Two double letter scores there.