I like everything organized and in its right place. That does not make me an anal control freak. I just think everything should be neat and tidy at all times. Is that really so much to ask?
I just like to let it all hang out. I'm a little all over the place.
Ok, so maybe I'm a little on the small side. Size isn't everything! Just give me a chance. Once you go carry-on, you never go back.
I'm fucking indestructible. Hard as a rock. Impenetrable in every way. Try to hug me and you will hurt yourself so BACK OFF.
I've been used a lot and I'm worn out. And if that's a problem for you, well, fine, why don't you just get some shitty shiny thing on wheels. I don't need you anyway.
I like to blend in. Black is the new black. Maybe I'm a little boring and safe, but you know what? Actually, I don't know what. I'm a dime a dozen. Love me?
I'm so hot and sexy. Tell me how sexy I am. Really, don't you think I'm sexy? I'm sexy, right? RIGHT? Oh, and did you see my Dolce & Gabbana tag? Just making sure you noticed that.