The bitch is back

About a month ago, I blogged about my experience passing a kidney stone, which I named Frances. But the joke's on me, because apparently I didn't pass it. J/k! Good one, Frances! Seriously, you really had me there. What I passed was only a fragment or something. LOL.

I have heard kidney stones described as painful, horrible and nasty, but I want to add another adjective to that list: stealthy. My symptoms went away for a whole month and now they're back. Turns out Frances was just hiding out in my bladder, laying low for a month. Chillin' like a villain. My bladder must be like the Hamptons of my body.

My new theory is that she's hitching a ride to Boston and didn't want to risk it on the Fung Wah bus. Hopefully though, her days are numbered. Shit's getting serious now: I'm most likely getting lithotripsy. Bad news: my insurance is so ghetto right now that I'll have to pay out of pocket for it. Which is why I'm establishing the Frances Memorial Kidney Stone Foundation. If you'd like to make a donation, please let me know. I accept cash, checks, and prescription painkillers.